Emotional Intelligence in 3 Simple Steps
When we feel genuinely connected, we experience greater emotional well being, better physical health, stronger immunity and faster recovery from disease. At any given time, we can be connected to countless people through social media and all of our devices. But with all this capacity for connection, why is loneliness the #1 reason people seek therapy today? (1)
According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, it’s because we’re all caught up in an “urban trance,” tuning out as we rush around trying to get stuff done. When we’re preoccupied and in a hurry, we barely notice what’s going on inside ourselves, let alone other people.
One way to weaken the trance is to strengthen our Emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage one’s own emotions, and according to the Cambridge English dictionary, also involves “the ability to understand the way other people feel and react and to use this skill to make good judgments and to avoid or solve problems.” In other words, our EI directly affects how we manage ourselves and relationships.
One of the most effective methods of developing EI is to first hone your self awareness. Gurus and meditators around the world teach this through a three step process that connects you with how you're feeling:
1. STOP.
Just pause for a moment.
2. BREATHE.
Take a few deep breaths, paying attention to your breath as it goes in, and out.
3. THINK.
With openness and curiosity, notice your thoughts and become aware of any emotions or physical sensations you may be feeling.
This, of course, does not have to be something that you practice in a cave. There's an app for that.
Stop, Breathe & Think makes your smart phone an emotionally intelligent one with a check-in feature that asks you how you are doing physically, mentally and emotionally. It guides you through each step, ultimately helping you to find the words that best describe your mood.
Once you give attention to what you’re feeling inside, then the real work begins. Your capacity to notice and “feel with” other people is significantly increased, along with the bonus benefits of your own feelings are easier to manage and you realize you are less alone in whatever you’re going through. Finally, our capacity for healing ourselves and each other increases too, exponentially.
Watch Tiffany Watt Smith explain EI through her "History of Human Emotions" TED Talk in the video below.
Photos by rawpixel.com, Devin Avery, and Michael Nunes.
(1) Emma Seppala, Science Director, Stanford Center For Compassion And Altruism Research And
Education. Co-Director Wellness, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.
Jamie Price is Co-Founder and President of Stop, Breathe & Think, winner of the 2017 Webby People's Voice Award for Health for paving the way for kids and parents alike to achieve everyday emotional wellness. There's been over 11 million emotional wellness check-ins to date.
She is also one of the founders of Tools For Peace™ a non-profit which has been teaching mindfulness and meditation to inner city teens for the past 17 years and receives 10 percent of all net proceeds from Stop, Breathe & Think.
Jamie was previously the VP of Internet Development for American Golf Corporation, where she developed the Internet strategy for the largest golf management company in the world. She started her career as a financial analyst at Smith Barney, and has studied and practiced meditation under the guidance of a traditionally trained buddhist teacher, Lama Chodak Gyatso Nubpa since 2000.