Natural Ways to Heal a Broken Heart
Heartbreak hurts any way you frame it. Breakups are never easy; whether it was mutual or one-sided, expected or unexpected. The healing process after heartbreak differs from person to person. The DNA that makes you unique will process these emotions differently. There is no magic formula to overcome heartbreak, but here is some advice to guide you through the healing process.
If you are a fan of the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, an episode on the show opens with its own spin on the breakup process through the advice of each character:
Ted: Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.
Lily: Half the length of the relationship.
Marshall: One week for every month you were together.
Robin: Exactly 10,000 drinks, however long that takes.
Barney: You can’t measure something like this in time; there’s a series of steps—from her bed to the front door. Bam! Out of there. Neeeeext!
This comedic bit is important to keep in mind because the ingredients to your recovery cocktail will differ to that of the people you know. Remember to not let your feelings of hurt and anger consume you. Focus on healing in a healthy way!
UWM Pro Tip: Whatever you do to heal, remember to do it for you and not for the attention of your former partner. You’ve got this!
Focus on Your Health.
What better time to reinvent yourself than after a breakup? It’s proven that exercising releases endorphins, which contribute to your happiness. Not only is exercise imperative for your general well being, working out can put you in a better mood. Working out to your favorite music can be so therapeutic.
If going to the gym intimidates you, try out a class! Especially now, there are a variety of online instructors and apps like ClassPass that allows you to try out all kinds of boutique workout studios such as cycling, kickboxing, zumba, and more for a monthly rate. I personally recommend kickboxing — there is nothing more satisfying than kicking and punching a bag while channeling anger and hurt. It works, I promise.
Surround Yourself With Loved Ones.
Ever heard the saying, “Teamwork makes the dream work”? Well, it’s true for recovering from a breakup too. Surrounding yourself — even online, if necessary —with loved ones keeps your mind busy. Don’t try battling healing alone; let your friends and family help you along the way. Your friends and family know the person you are, and they can offer some insightful advice or reassurance that is specific to you.
Additionally, they know the remedy to put a smile on your face. Whether that is a night in or out, a spa weekend, or a fun day plan, use this time to lean on your friends and family. They know you best, and can help you heal your wounds.
Take a Trip.
Was there a trip you had on your radar for a while but weren’t able to do with your partner? Or, is there a location that you have always wanted to visit again? Practice some self-care and take that trip.
Spending some time in a different location can help the healing process and take your mind off of the familiar things that might trigger emotions about your ex. Get a friend, a group, or go solo and take that trip! If you have the financial and PTO means to take a week, do it! If not, a weekend getaway can do the job just as well.
UWM Pro Tip: Be mindful of our current circumstances. Get creative and stay safe. Avoid the beaten path, learn new ways to greet each other — from a distance — when you bring a group together (IG live parties are all the rage right now). If you’re outside, bring what you need so you don’t need a pit stop. Live free, but smart — hospitals are already overloaded with emergencies.
Practice Self-Love and Self-Care.
What do you love to do? What motivates you? What is therapeutic for you? Write down a list of five things that make you happy, mentally stimulate you, or motivate you, and try to do one, a combination, or all (if reasonable) each week to focus on your healing process.
If challenging yourself makes you happy and motivated, learn a new skill! Schedule a pottery making class, try some DIY projects, or start learning a new language. Practicing these acts of self-care weekly will start to make every day a little bit easier.
Most Importantly—Take Your Time.
Just as our fictional friends from How I Met Your Mother stated, it takes each person a different amount of time to recover from a breakup. There are a lot of variables such as; relationship length, emotional investment, how it ended, post-breakup actions and reactions, emotional ties (friend groups, family, etc.), and more. So, take your time.
Focus on your self-love and take it day by day. The hurting may seem like it will never get better, but every day will get easier and every day you will get stronger.
UWM Pro Tip: Don’t jump right back into dating if you’re not ready. For some it may work, but for most, it acts like a Band-Aid on a deep wound — it’s only a temporary fix. Diving straight back into the dating game (casually or not so casually) can leave you feeling worse in the long run. Date when you are ready, and don’t rush it.
Breaking up sucks, but it can also be incredibly liberating. If your relationship isn’t working, it’s the right thing to do even though it might be incredibly painful in the short-term.
Above all else, it’s important to remember through all of this, know that no one should tell you how to feel, not even me. You have the right to your own emotions, and owning that fact will make every day easier. Take your time, heal in healthy ways, and remember that you will get through it and be stronger than ever!
What’s on your “Over It” playlist (music, hobbies, tv)? We’re home too. Tag us on IG.
Photos: Wicliff Thadeu, Daria Shevtsova, Arliane Vargas, Imani, Engin Akyurt, Hernan Pauccara
Kesley Smith is the Corporate Communications and Business Development Manager of Greenleaf Book Group, Urban Wellness Mag’s partner in a new health and wellness publishing imprint, Well Spirit Press.
She holds a Masters degree in business and is an avid all seasons outdoor enthusiast enjoying wakeboarding, wake surfing, snowboarding and skiing. Connect with her online @GreenleafBookGr and @wellspiritpress, or on her personal Instagram, @kesleysmith.